Dear Diary
by simply infatuated
Summary: [ONESHOT] Lily Evans absolutely despises playboy James Potter, but what will she think of him after she finds his – yes, that’s right – DIARY?


Title: Dear Diary

_Summary: ONESHOT Lily Evans absolutely despises playboy James Potter, but what will she think of him after she finds his – yes, that's right – DIARY?_

**Story by: **simply infatuated

**Author's Note: **This is my first one-shot Harry Potter fanfiction so I hope you don't critique it too harshly.

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"Honestly, Emily," Lily Evans groaned, stirring her Potions assignment slowly, "how could I ever like _Potter_?"

"First of all, Lily, stop saying his name as if it were venom!" said Emily Lust, Lily Evans' best friend in Ravenclaw. Lily shot her friend a nasty glare but saw that Emily was only paying attention to her purple concoction.

"Why?" Lily sighed. How could her best friend ask her that when she was supposed to know her inside out? James Potter, as everyone bloody well knew, was a playboy who had no heart and dumped girls in a blink of an eye. On top of that, he was constantly asking her out with no regard to his current "girlfriend".

"Well, do you know how many girls would kill to have James Potter fancy them?" Emily asked.

"Yes, but do you know how many girls would kill to actually have a chance to kill James Potter?" Lily rolled her eyes and quickly looked up to see if Professor Slughorn was looking at the two. In Lily's mind, she thought that the two of them were talking a bit too loud and she would hate to get a detention. Especially because she was Head Girl that year!

"He does have a track record for breaking girls' hearts, but still!" Emily said triumphantly, as if she had already won the argument. Emily tossed her long blonde hair to one side of her shoulder and smiled at James Potter, who was screwing up his potion because he was too busy staring at Lily. "See? He won't even look at me because he only has eyes for you."

Lily sighed, wanting to stop the argument right now. She had to admit, that comment actually got to her. Emily had to be one of the most beautiful girls on the face of the planet (due to her mother being a veela). Next to her, Lily looked so ordinary and common!

"Please, let's just –" Lily started.

"Hey, Lily Pad, would you like to –" James Potter was seen abandoning his hopeless Potions mixture and was now walking toward Lily and Emily.

"Can it, Potter," Lily put her hand up to stop him before he got to the part she hated most.

"But you don't even know what –"

"Yes, I do," Lily glared at James.

Sighing sadly as if he actually cared that he had been rejected for the millionth time, James turned to Emily with a pleading look.

"She won't budge. Nothing I can do," Emily smiled hopelessly. Secretly, she was hoping James would dump his enormous obsession over Lily to be with her. It was quite hard for Emily; actually, because she was so used to getting any boy she wanted.

"Just you wait Evans," James smiled as he grabbed his bag from his table, after the bell had rung, and made his way back to Lily's table. He took Lily's hand and kissed it, before giving her his most dazzling smile and saying, "I'll win you over."

Lily quickly pulled her hand back to herself, her face contorted with disgust, "He's got some nerve!"

"He's a great romantic, huh?" Emily sighed hopelessly. Lily groaned as she stared at the hand James kissed and pretended to gag as James started to leave.

"See you ladies," James said, winking in Emily's direction. Emily could've just died right there in that spot and she would be happy. After all – James Potter, the only guy in Hogwarts who hasn't fallen for her, had just winked at her and she started to have a glimmer of hope that he was starting to give in to his hidden desires to be with her. Or maybe it was just a wink.

"Let's go," Lily sighed. She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and started walking out when she tripped on something. "OW!"

"Oh, Lily, are you alright?" Emily asked, wide-eyed. She immediately went down on one knee to be level with Lily.

"Yeah. I just tripped on something," Lily sighed, looking for the object she stumbled on. After finding it, she let out an "Ah-hah!"

"A notebook? You fell on a notebook – no, wait . . . diary?" Emily giggled.

"Shut up, Lust," Lily growled.

"Whatever, Evans," Emily sighed. "Who's is it?"

"Uh – James'," Lily said in a matter-of-fact tone. Then, as if she had suddenly found the cure to Muggle Cancer, she screamed, "James Potter keeps a _DIARY_?"

"He's sensitive, too!" Emily sighed.

"Miss Evans, Miss Lust, you two are supposed to be on your way to lunch," Professor Slughorn smiled, shooing his two favorite students out the door.

"Sorry, Professor!" Lily and Emily apologized and quickly scattered outside.

"I guess I should return this," Lily sighed, stuffing the book into her bag.

"No! Read it!" Emily pleaded. She batted her long eyelashes at Lily and pouted.

"Whoa, that works for the guys you try to seduce but not for me," Lily joked.

"Hey!" Emily said, pretending to be insulted.

"I got to go to Gryffindor Tower, can you tell Jessica that I'm going to skip lunch?" Lily asked Emily, referring to another one of her best friends, who was in Gryffindor.

"Of course, you anorexic boy magnet," Emily giggled and stuck out her tongue. Lily sighed, rolled her eyes, and walked away from Emily, hoping not to catch her craziness.

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When she had reached Gryffindor Tower, Lily told the Fat Lady the password ("Effloresco") and climbed in the hole. Finding the Common Room completely empty, Lily decided to leave the diary on the table but quickly snatched it back up, knowing that it wouldn't be safe being just out in the open.

For some reason, she felt completely and utterly relaxed as she lay down on the couch in Gryffindor Tower and preferred it to the Heads' Tower. Perhaps it was because she knew James was probably lurking around in the shadows when she was at the Heads' Tower or something. She closed her eyes and suddenly felt the urge to read something. Having brought nothing but her Potions book (which she read over and over four times), she sighed, then saw James' diary.

"No, Lily, it's wrong," Lily, scolded herself as she inched herself closer to James' diary. She bit her lip softly. She _really_ wanted to open the diary but she knew that as the Head Girl at Hogwarts, she was supposed to obey rules and not invade anyone's privacy. "Oh, what the hell? No one's here anyway!"

With a final look around her, Lily muttered, "_Alohomora!_"

The lock on the diary clicked and the diary swung open. Mentally punishing herself, Lily turned to a random page and read:

_December 22, 1975_

_Dear Diary,_

_Well, I did it. I just bloody well did it! Diary, I am such a bloody git! I asked Lily out again today, except this time to the Christmas Ball and you can guess what she said. Yeah – she just plain out said "NO!" It really isn't fair how my emotions keep taking control and my heart and head don't have any say in this. Yeah, I know. I'm too stupid. But do you know what? I am going to do anything to get Lily to like me!_

_You have no idea how much it hurts every time she denies and rejects me. It feels like someone just put the Cruciatus curse on me and there are a thousand knives piercing me. (One place in particular: my heart). How do I stop myself from making such a stupid fool out of myself? Just because my emotions are so bloody retarded, Lily thinks I am a complete jerk! I wish I could get her to see the real side of me. The side of me that wants to take her out for walks, buys her bouquets of flowers (muggle ones, you know), and just spends loads of galleons on her no matter what! Damn, someone's coming down so I got to hide you!_

_JAMES_

Lily felt her heart stop beating. Could James actually be this sensitive? No, there was no way. He probably enchanted the pages to say this so that if Lily ever came across it, she would think of him as a stupid love hero! Even if he did write this, he could never explain all the girls he dated. Suddenly, Lily found herself looking through the pages for mentions of the girls James dated and dumped in the past. Finally finding a page, she settled in.

_January 19, 1976_

_Dear Diary,_

_I just dumped Mallory today. To be honest, I don't give a damn. I mean, yes I do feel bad about breaking her heart and making her go through that pain (you know I know personally, first hand) but I can't keep lying to her or myself. Everybody knows that I love Lily and even though she hates me and keeps rejecting me (and we probably will never go out in a million years), it feels as if I'm cheating on her every time I date someone else._

_Mallory _does_ deserve better than me. Every time I'm on a date with her, all I _see_ is Lily. All I _think_ about is Lily. And all I _talk_ about is Lily. Mallory doesn't need a guy that's pining over another girl. Why can't Lily accept me for the stupid pig-headed nervous coward I am? Okay, that doesn't sound as good as I was thinking but too late, I'm using a permanent quill._

_I'm going to vow to myself that I will never date another girl for the rest of my Hogwarts life. I hate feeling like I'm cheating on Lily and everything! The only feeling worse than that is whenever I see her with that scumbag Lucas! For heaven's sake, he's a bloody Hufflepuff! Why can't Merlin just cut me a break?_

_JAMES_

Small tears were now falling from Lily's piercing emerald eyes. That was the sweetest and nicest thing she had ever read. Was this really how Potter was like? Maybe it was true. Everything Emily said might've been right. The only reason why Potter always acted like a bloody git around her was because he was nervous. Underneath, he probably was a caring and sensitive soul – and she had hurt him over and over.

"Lily, what are you doing here?" a familiar voice asked. Lily turned around to see none other than the owner and writer of the diary in her hands.

Lily smiled and held up the diary in her hand, trying to dry her tears. James felt himself freeze and thought, _oh no, she found it!_ He closed his eyes, and groaned. She wasn't supposed to find it. No one was. It was only to help him settle his feelings and emotions.

"Look, Lils, I can –"

"That was the sweetest," Lily sighed, fluttering her eyes happily, "and most sensitive thing I have ever read."

"Is that good?" James asked, looking down at his feet.

"If only you meant every single word of it."

"I did. Of course I did."

"Then why did you let me go on thinking that you were the most annoying man alive?" Lily smiled.

"Because you probably wouldn't have cared," James exhaled, his voice was tinged with repressed emotions, and all of them were mainly hurt. "Every time I ask you out, I get nervous and the only thing that I _can_ do is act stupid and annoying and –"

James' eyes widened sharply as he found his lips made contact with Lily's. Besides the fact that he was kissing his one true love, Lily Evans, the only thing that shocked him more was that _she_ was the one that made the first move! Lily broke the kiss slowly and cupped James' face in her hands, looking at him with much admiration.

"James Matthew Potter," Lily whispered, "I'm afraid I have been too stubborn to realize this before but . . . I think I love you too."

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**Author's Note: **Would you believe that the story itself (minus the Author's Notes and things like that) is 2003 words? That is a first for me! (Oh, and sorry, I'm not exactly sure of what James' middle name is!) Hate it or love it? Please be the second choice!

_**REVIEWS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED**_

Hehe, I hope that caught your attention.

Much love and thanks,

**simply infatuated**


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